Dying fire.... Dying confidence...

And I'll follow You there...

To the place where we meet...

And I'll lay down my pride...

As You search me again...

Your unfailing love over me... again...

-extract from "Your Unfailing Love" - Hillsongs

Sigh... I feel I've failed God so many times...
I dont even think I deserve any more good things from Him sometimes....
Falling into temptation, neglecting Him...

I'm falling away again... but I don't want to... I really don't want to...

I watch as my friends grow into maturity in Christ...
and I watch as some other friends backslided into the world again...

Pains me as I watched my fire burned and die out... watch it burn itself out...
Slowly dying..... I dont want it to fade away...
Into obscurity....

Anywayz... sigh.. hope God can forgive me for all the things I've let him down recently..

Have been really slacking around and doing nothing much..... I feel so empty and discontinued inside...
Sometimes I wonder if some people are put on earth to make the earth a more boring place... I feel that I bore people sometime...

Though I may seem extrovert most of the time, in truth, I am also an introvert... a person who wants to be alone sometimes...
but I need friends... because... friends make me feel like I'm wanted on this earth...
And I try to make my friends feel good also...

I would highlight any good point that I come across in their lives and drone about it until they get it drilled in their head... so that they can boost their self confidence...
something that is lacking in alot of people nowadays...

But sometimes... it is at the expense of my own.... it hurts when people reject you...




My blog frequency has been reduced to less then a 100 everyday...
Yesterday was only 40... it feels kinda terrible... I used to have more people reading...

See.. i bore people....

sigh...
I love people... but somehow I got a feeling people dont love me....